When my philosophy professor announced I had to write a paper that is to be submitted the DAY before I leave for Friendship Games, I almost plucked my eyes out. But, when I read the prompt, I was pretty relieved..
An essay on Love? Cake.
Heres a pretentious piece of work by yours truly.
“Who Really Knows What Love Is, Anyway?”
“’Love’ is the name for our pursuit for wholeness, for our desire to be complete.”
-Aristophanes, Symposium, Plato On Love
Everyone seems to think they know everything about Love. All these perceptions are always based on that one experience with “the one that got away,” or “the one I will hunt down and seek sweet revenge.” No matter the dramatics, people think they know what love is and have a logical understanding of it. We have a lot in common with the great philosophers of the past in the sense that they, too, felt they knew more than one another about that timelessly mysterious concept called Love. Considering the discussion between Aristophanes and Socrates in Plato’s Symposium, we can see the difference in their views, both in conventional and philosophical perceptions.
Good ol’ Aristophanes has such a magical, yet, conventional, perception of Love. He probably had really positive experiences with it to have his idea of love. According to him, we were all originally joined together in pairs and as a punishment, to our despair, we were split into halves and separated. In order to pacify our misery from being apart, “Love is born into every human being; it calls back to the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make us one out of two and heal the wound of human nature” (p 49, 191d). Supposedly, as it seems, Aristophanes’ story is where the idea of soul mate searching comes from. In the chance that one finds their “other half,” he also believes that “something wonderful happens: the two are struck from their senses by love, by a sense of belonging to one another, and by desire, and they don’t want to be separated from one another, not even for a moment” (p49, 192b5). Very beautifully said, I must say. But, according to Socrates, love is not that magical and opposed to what Aristophanes believes.
Considering Socrates’ belief, love is not about one seeking its “other half” because that assumes one is seeking what one does not already have, contrary to Aristophanes’ belief that everyone is instilled with love. I presume Aristophanes even dares to say that, in that case, people cannot live without each other. Most relationships that materialize out of seeking someone to fill emptiness are usually co-dependent and destructive because they are constantly seeking completeness from each other that can never be met. Instead, Socrates believes that Love has nothing to do with us as mere vessels of Love, but is the desire for beautiful things, permanent and unchanging. He believes that it is in developing knowledge and wisdom of the beauty of another one’s soul that is Love; being an entity uncontained, by any individual person, regardless of beauty or goodness. From that point of discovery, only happiness and joy can result, never desiring what one does not have because it feels complete in itself.
In Plato’s work Symposium, comparing Aristophanes’ conventional perception of love with Socrates’ more philosophical perception of love, I find there is a very big difference but I do not see either one as better than the other. Aristophanes’ view can lead to lust and embrace love based on physical attraction. A relationship based on lust may fall short in the long run. From experience, I find it to be very true. Yes, he was very handsome. And, yes, we had strong chemistry. Then, months later, we realize we have nothing in common but physical attraction and the relationship fades away. I really believe two people should have a strong attraction to each other but it has to be more than that, and that is where I side with Socrates.
Socrates believes that love is more than meets the eye, as in, it is a connection of souls between two people. Our soul is nothing tangible like a cute face for a physical attraction. He believes that wisdom and knowledge, and understanding of each other is a stronger connection than lust and can be better suited to be called Love, which is the driving force and the result of that type of connection at the same time. Since our souls are way below the surface, and unable to be felt empirically, true Love is harder to experience than many would like to think. It just goes to show that Love is not easy to come across and takes a long time to be discovered, a concept hard for people my age to conceive. We all wish, especially, myself, that love could be easy but I’d rather wait patiently for something true and mature than settle for something based on lust. Socrates has a more mature perception of Love compared to Aristophanes and I hope to one day completely experience it.
In my experiences with Love, I think that all relationships should start with physical attraction like Aristophanes believes, but should not be based on it, allowing it to potentially grow into a mature love. I can honestly say also that I see Love the way that Aristophanes does, as a yearning for another who I believe will complete me. In my experience, I love someone and cannot help feeling that way, getting past the strong physical attraction quickly. I am attracted to his clever humor, his positive outlook on life, and his flourishing maturity. I am impressed by his quiet intelligence, gentle demeanor, and surprisingly attractive strangeness at times. I love his cool exterior, his thoughtful gestures, and his genuine attitude towards everyone around him. After years of pure friendship, how can I not see and appreciate the good in his soul?
The ever-changing dynamics of dating and relationship these days does not help, though. I want to tell him I love him, but society says I cannot just throw that word at someone. Why not? These days, love is something to be scared of, rather than something to be embraced. These days, it is not enough to desire the beauty of someone’s soul; we have to consider if that person is over their bad break up and ready to start a new relationship. The consistent failures of lustful, co-dependent, and destructive relationships have ruined so many of us, inhibiting us from opening up to the more mature, soulful-type of love relationship. Slowly developing that love between two people is definitely worth the time and effort. Taking the time to understand and see the beauty in someone’s soul will create a permanent and unchanging Love that Socrates so eloquently speaks of. That is the love I desire and will wait for.
